Let's Talk About Entitlement
(I started this post about ten days ago. Then I had to go to the bathroom, get something to eat, answer the phone, drive eleventy million places, and I'm just picking it up again because it's been on my mind. So, please pardon my tardiness.)
Chili over at Don't Try This At Home (btw -- love the Groucho glasses!) writes about teaching kids to save and appreciate money:
They don't need money, but they still wish for piles of it to count and sort over and over. I think it's that childlike compulsion to squirrel away stuff and measure by volume instead of value. When I was about Robey's age I earnestly declared my intention to take all the money out of my savings account in nickels; my mother wisely rolled her eyes at me noncommittally. I haven't progressed much; if I could I'd stuff every dollar I own under my mattress.
I know some of their friends get allowances because their parents don't understand or accept the word "no." I know other friends receive allowances because they're expected to cover some of their own expenses, especially for indulgences. But neither of these issues seems to apply to my kids. First, I am the Queen of No, armed with an endless loop of speeches about how computer games rot your mind, Polly Pockets are a waste of money, and authentic baseball jerseys are outgrown so quickly that it simply makes more sense to buy the plain tee shirt. And second, I don't require my kids to pay for their own stuff. Well, there was that box of Pokemon cards...
So why should I give my kids an allowance? When I was a kid my parents tried bribing us to fulfill daily responsibilities by offering an allowance of a nickel a week (I'm not that old -- my parents were being stingy) with the understanding that our pay would be docked for not, say, getting out of bed in the morning (yeah, they set the bar pretty low). It doesn't take long to deplete a nickel; soon we owed them money, and in less than two months the allowance was just a memory.
Instead of offering a pointless allowance, whenever my kids whine for one (or even worse, compensation for good grades) I remind them that I won't pay just for the pleasure of their company but I will pay for an honest day's (okay -- quarter hour's) work. Vacuum the car -- get paid. Mop the floor -- get paid. Rake leaves -- get paid. Load the dishwasher -- get bupkes (I'm not crazy -- why should I have to do all the housework?)
It works, even though they still occasionally try to argue me into the allowance. They get paid for doing jobs, the jobs get done without my having to do them, and we avoid the resentment that would come from regular arguments over who owes what.
Chili over at Don't Try This At Home (btw -- love the Groucho glasses!) writes about teaching kids to save and appreciate money:
What about allowance? I'm torn here. I want to teach my kids NOW how to deal with money. I don't want them figuring out at 20 what happens if you make a regrettable purchase. At the same time, where do they get said money? From allowance? Should I be paying them for things that are necessary to the family's well-being? Shouldn't these chores be done simply because they need to be done? It's a catch-22 as far as I can tell.Periodically Cleo and Robey try to finagle me into giving them an allowance, for what I can't be certain because they have everything they need, most things they want, lots of things they don't need, and I almost never require them to pay for anything themselves. Well, there was that Webkins...
They don't need money, but they still wish for piles of it to count and sort over and over. I think it's that childlike compulsion to squirrel away stuff and measure by volume instead of value. When I was about Robey's age I earnestly declared my intention to take all the money out of my savings account in nickels; my mother wisely rolled her eyes at me noncommittally. I haven't progressed much; if I could I'd stuff every dollar I own under my mattress.
I know some of their friends get allowances because their parents don't understand or accept the word "no." I know other friends receive allowances because they're expected to cover some of their own expenses, especially for indulgences. But neither of these issues seems to apply to my kids. First, I am the Queen of No, armed with an endless loop of speeches about how computer games rot your mind, Polly Pockets are a waste of money, and authentic baseball jerseys are outgrown so quickly that it simply makes more sense to buy the plain tee shirt. And second, I don't require my kids to pay for their own stuff. Well, there was that box of Pokemon cards...
So why should I give my kids an allowance? When I was a kid my parents tried bribing us to fulfill daily responsibilities by offering an allowance of a nickel a week (I'm not that old -- my parents were being stingy) with the understanding that our pay would be docked for not, say, getting out of bed in the morning (yeah, they set the bar pretty low). It doesn't take long to deplete a nickel; soon we owed them money, and in less than two months the allowance was just a memory.
Instead of offering a pointless allowance, whenever my kids whine for one (or even worse, compensation for good grades) I remind them that I won't pay just for the pleasure of their company but I will pay for an honest day's (okay -- quarter hour's) work. Vacuum the car -- get paid. Mop the floor -- get paid. Rake leaves -- get paid. Load the dishwasher -- get bupkes (I'm not crazy -- why should I have to do all the housework?)
It works, even though they still occasionally try to argue me into the allowance. They get paid for doing jobs, the jobs get done without my having to do them, and we avoid the resentment that would come from regular arguments over who owes what.
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