For Sale: New Red Kids Tae Kwon Doe Uniform Result of a Hissy Fit

For Sale: one brand new Tae Kwon Doe (or maybe Karate -- I have no idea) uniform, never worn, even though I spent hours sewing on a bunch of cockamamie patches by hand in an attempt to inspire a reluctant seven-year-old to continue taking classes long after she'd lost interest. I made her start martial arts partly because her brother had been getting really good at it and I thought it was a great opportunity to be able to drive them to the same place for the same class instead of dropping him off someplace and then dropping her off someplace else and then having to retrace my steps to pick them both up. I also anticipated the relief of not having to color with her or listen to her complain about being bored while he took a class. Besides, after she was expelled from camp for fighting I had to emphasize to her the need to solve disputes without shoving, and in Tae Kwon Doe they're not allowed to touch each other.

Sounds perfect, right?

At first she refused to yell with the rest of the class; she even got in trouble for it a couple times. That “hiii-yaaah!!” is really crucial in Tae Kwon Doe because – well, I have no idea why, but I know she had to sit in the corner a couple times because she refused to do it. I guess all my harping on using her “inside voice” had really sunk in.

After learning to scream on command she poked along for about a year, moving up through the early belts at a leisurely pace and lamenting the lack of any fun girls in the class. Meanwhile, big brother was sailing up the ranks at lightning speed, hurtling toward the black belt and taking classes for which she wasn’t yet qualified, so here I was again driving to two sets of classes but at least this time they were at the same place.

In an attempt to inspire her to put in more effort into moving up to big brother’s level, I promoted her from the white uniform to the red one. Most parents bestow the uniforms and afterwards attach the patches in their own good time, but I spent hours sewing on all the patches, stabbing myself repeatedly and shifting my reading glasses up and down and up and down. When I gave her the uniform she refused to wear it because the pants were too long, and before I could get them hemmed she decided to quit Tae Kwon Doe. So the uniform has been sitting crumpled up in a bag, along with the pink sparring helmet and gloves, which I’m also selling.

Last week we bought ballet slippers. At least it wasn’t a grand piano.

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Why Would Anyone Go To All The Trouble Of Repairing Crocs?

Because they cost thirty dollars, that's why!

See the difference?
<<<<<<

Last year I bought the kids Airwalks on Ebay for about half the cost of Crocs, because really -- who's foolish enough to pay thirty dollars for glorified flip flops for kids? Well actually, lots of people, but nevertheless, I didn't want to be one of them because I'm oh-so-careful with my money. BWAAHAHAHAH!!! I know, I know -- sometimes I can be so darn funny!

Anyway.

Robey would have worn them to bed if I'd let him (he's impulsive that way), except that he broke off one of the straps less than a week after they arrived. He still wore them broken but their usefulness was seriously limited, especially for a significantly pigeon toed kid who wears his shoes on the tops of his feet almost as often as on the bottoms.

So this year I bought him the real thing, because he'd demonstrated his irrevocable devotion to the Crocesque Airwalks, and I figured the Crocs might be a bit sturdier, right? because EVERYONE wears them so they must be good, right?

They lasted a week.

One of the buttons popped off and I was getting dirty looks from strangers and vehement lectures that my son was in EXTREME DANGER of -- well, something, maybe tripping or something. I couldn't throw them away after only a week. If I threw away everything my kids dinged or scratched or cracked or whatevered I'd have to have a landfill on retainer. So I fixed it by sewing a black button on the outside and a brown one on the inside to anchor the black one. Proud of my fixing prowess I sent him off to Sea World Camp secure in my insistent and somewhat shrill promise that as long as nobody looked too closely they'd never notice the difference between left and right.

My repair lasted a week.

Meanwhile, the shoes were still a size too big and would've lasted him another year if I could just keep them on life support long enough.

This time I used black button thread twisted with very fine nylon thread, coated in fabric glue and anchored with a liberal application of Gorilla Glue. Robey's just going to have to get used to the brown button.

I suspect my son has a future in product testing.

Visit my web site, FeeFiFoto.com, for personalized photo gifts. We will put your photos on almost anything. Personalized photo calendars, mugs, handbags, jewelry, ornaments and porcelain plates make great gifts for Christmas, Hanukkah, Mother's Day, Father's Day, Valentine's Day, birthday, anniversary, new baby and graduates.